It’s 10:30 at night. I’m sitting in bed after a long day, having finished class at 9:00 tonight. Next to me, my boyfriend is lying asleep after his own long day of finals. The hum of my computer and the sound of the washing machine in the next room the only sound beyond my clicking keyboard. Everything is still.
This relationship has been different, and at first I was worried about that. I didn’t have the cocaine-brain, adrenaline rush, all my life goes on hold so that I can be with you always kind of thing like I have in the past. This was very gradual, very natural. Our lives kept going. Only now, they go together.
T is very sweet to me. He puts a lot of thought and effort into giving his all in this relationship. I try to do the same for him, and keep watch that I don’t do the things that caused so many problems for me in the last relationship, and in my dating life in general.
What’s been truly beautiful is how comfortable things have gotten in the last week or two. T is starting to feel like home. I like that feeling a lot. In the last two weeks only one of those nights was not spent together. I really like waking up just a little, just enough to hear him breathe and feel his warm skin.
I am trying to live in the moment more. Forget what others say, or what I think they say, and just cherish T. Treasure the time I get with him. Because one day we won’t be young grad students struggling for cash and stealing kisses as we make dinner. And we’ll miss these days.
So I think I’ll put my laptop away, forget the rest of the world, and wrap myself around this wonderful boy and fall asleep.